I have been sitting out on the (small) back deck for a while now, and 7 am just rolled around. Piping hot black coffee and the sounds of the woods waking up to keep me company. These last few days have been uneasy for me, to be honest.
Just as an object in motion tends to stay in motion, an object at rest tends to stay at rest (that's the whole of my physics knowledge, by the way). Some parts of my life have been in a proverbial "rest" state- unmoving, static- and I've pushed them into motion. It's uncomfortable, difficult, and necessary.
Why? I've found that I know myself better than I did in my younger days, and in knowing myself I've become more honest. That is, in the sense of realizing who I am, what I need, and where I'm going. The past has proven that attempting to adapt to someone else is not my forte; and while I fully realize that compromise is necessary, I also have a strong sense of who I am and... I like myself. Yes, I'm high maintenance. Bossy. Loud. Boisterous. A little crazy. But complex and as Martha would say, "it's a good thing."
It's hard for me these last few days to find words, and I struggle with that even now. Chalk it up to growing pains and have another cup of coffee.
