I wish I'd updated this more often, but life sure does seem to get in the way sometimes. Insomnia is providing the perfect opportunity to play catch up, though.
Something about autumn makes me want to go home... not necessarily the physical location, but just the feeling of being home. Miranda Lambert says it well- "you leave home, you move on and you do the best you can/I got lost in this old world and forgot who I am". I'm the mother of two great (if ornery) kids, a banker with a successful career, a community volunteer, a sister and daughter, and a friend. But that's not who I am.
I'm memories of fireflies in the backyard at night as a kid, busting my front teeth on the swingset in the backyard (yeah Mom, you told me so), and walking up the gravel driveway after riding the bus home. I'm sweet tea and biscuits and gravy, Sunday night dinners at Grandma and Grampa's, playing barefoot in the grass. I'm that patterned yellow vinyl in the kitchen, an aluminum screen door in the back, that big sycamore tree I always had to mow around, and helping Mama gather veggies from her garden.
The truth of it is, I'm a story- just like everyone else. Granted, mine's a little more colorful at times than most, but those things are the beginning and still flavor my days now. I can hear my mother talking out of my mouth at times, like I swore I never would. When I drive past a hay field I smile. I don't think it's so much that I've forgotten who I am, it's that that girl seems like a lot farther away than a couple of decades and a two hour drive west.
But looking at Ethan and Ella, I know who I am. And I'm pretty happy about it.
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